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Topshelf Records


by Sundials

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released November 4, 2014



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Track Name: Dealin'
Yeah, it gets weird sometimes. I forget how small this town is.
One says, “Hey you look familiar.” The other says, “I live here too.”
Sometimes when I close my eyes I can feel like I built a fortress.
Nobody’s allowed inside, it’s a sty, but that’s what I’m used to now.

I guess I’m stuck in my own way of dealin’ with agoraphobia.

Yeah, I wear a mask sometimes even though I know it’s illegal.
It makes it easy to grin and to bear. I’m in trouble for dealin’ but that’s all right.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I remember I built a fortress.
Nobody is allowed inside, it’s a pit, but that’s what I’m used to now.
Track Name: Splinter
The splinter turned out stubborn after all.
Did everything you could, leaning against the bathroom wall, alone.
If you don’t call, then no one has to know.
Long walk ahead, feels like the tide is trying to tell you,
“Stay at home instead.”
You just wanna feel you were six,
When Mama threw a pirate birthday party for the kids,
Held out your tiny hand when Danny accidently slipped,
Saw the things that you could fix.
Why can’t I pick myself up anymore?
Long walk ahead, feels like the tide is trying to tell me
“Stay at home instead.”
Track Name: Gained a Grip
I’ve been looking to find somehow, some way to make this less obscene.
Something resembling routine, and I’m almost there--I’m a liar now.
I’ve been searching to find some self, myself is what I wanna be.
And I’ve gained some stability, almost--I’m a liar now.
Then there’s territory and liquor, feelings I don’t own,
That I have no right to. Can’t save this face
I’d rather never have ever shown anyone.
I’ve been learning that I just can’t win, it’s always going to be my fault.
So I’ve been counting grains of salt since then--I’m a coward now.
And now I’ve finally gained a grip,
So I let it go.
Man I hate these days when we’re silently at odds,
You and I don’t make sense at all.
I try to empathize: you’re so miserable, you hate company.
The only depth to this is that you let me dig my own grave.
I’ve finally gained a grip, so I let it go.
Track Name: Stun Spore
For a second I forgot my name again.
Think I last had it in the hypnosis I left
Completely brain deprived, motivation dry,
Another memory I haven’t kept.
So what’s left?
A paralyzing fear of a nameless death.
I guess I’ve been lonely.
Lately, I’ve felt the distance start to change me.
I’m in a separate room,
It’s such a good excuse to lose my identity,
To stay at home and just fall asleep.
To wrap my body in silk and let paralysis kill all the doubt in me.
I’m losing identity.
Never been easier to fall asleep.
If I can get what I need from the spider’s teeth than I don’t need a dream.
Track Name: Kick
Indifference kick. Woke up to a screen again.
Thought about writing a song and jerked off instead.
Indifference kick. Surfing the Mesmer blue.
How could anything I make compare to you?
I’m all release, so come on. Plug into me and I’ll be everything you want.
Indifference kick. Getting used to how it feels.
My arachnophobia ways have all but healed.
I’m on a kick. It’s just a kick.
Track Name: Eugene
Eugene, you were named after this kid at work who made my days
Less long, less alone, less dehumanizing.

You know if you feel like spending a few weeks under the couch
I’ll be here whether you wanna stay or come out.
I think I know how you feel, it’s getting harder to leave,
Although my paws are aching from atrophy.
If you feel like spending a few weeks under the couch,
I’ll be here right above your head, watching out.
Yeah I’ll be around.

It’s not the long walk that’s holding me back.
It’s not the web I’m sticking to, it’s not that.
It’s not the splinters, and it’s not the screens.
No, like this cat next to my feet,
It’s just me.